It’s Valentine’s Day and I’ll start by stating the obvious: I REALLY LOVE MY FAMILY.
This is not news, because we all do.
Why else would we go long stretches of time without sleep, or properly caring for ourselves in hopes that the sacrifices we are making now, result in a better life for them in the future?
We do it and have always done it because we love them –and regardless of what the experts try to tell us – it is NOT easy.
In a lot of ways, I like to think trying to find balance in motherhood it is a lot like trying to balance our checkbooks.
Just like the ebb and flow of the money doesn’t happen in a vacuum, neither does love.
If you find yourself losing patience with your kids, yelling more than you’d like to and fighting the urge to get in your car, drive off and not come back; (no judgement, we’ve all been there) it could be because your “love” account is in the negative.
Meaning, you probably have more love going out than you have coming in and that’s not good.
Happens to a lot of us more than you might think.
For me, this is where I look to my husband to make up the difference.
Of course, he loves our girls too. However, some things are best handled by Momma.
Like preparing for that certain time of the month, practicing ballet dance moves (however haphazardly) or picking out the perfect dress for the school dance. Trust me, they don’t want dad in on the process.
These things fall squarely on my plate and they require effort and energy that I don’t always have. So, while I’m hustling and bustling to take care of them, anything he can do to lighten my load on the back-end is a huge help.
It’s nice when he is there to bridge the divide by pouring into me while I’m pouring into them. Whether it’s a reassuring word after a long day, a gentle shoulder massage or a hug that says, “Don’t worry baby, the therapist will help you sort that one out.”
It always gives me a little wind beneath my wings to feel like I can fight another day.
And let me tell you, he’s good at this.
But let’s be real. This doesn’t always happen. Nobody’s perfect, so there are times when they all (kids and husband included) take make more withdrawals than they make deposits – leaving momma feeling busted and cornered.
This is why I always say keep a stash of self-love in your savings account, because you don’t know when you’ll have to do an occasional balance transfer to stay in the black.
During those times when your stores are low and you feel like you just don’t have another thing to give, don’t be afraid to hand out one of these:
With all that being said, there is nothing like going and growing through the journey of love with family. It’s all about maintaining the proper balance of give and take.
This Valentine’s Day, I am thankful to have a partner who works to keep a smile on my face, so I don’t go completely crazy trying to put a smile on theirs.
Let me just say, waking up to this Valentine’s gift, didn’t hurt things at all.
How do you balance your checkbook of love?
This post is a part of the #NakeMoms campaign where I am going to get naked and tell the truth about motherhood. There will not be good lighting, or fancy filters for these posts. Unfortunately, motherhood doesn’t come with an app for that, so it’s just the truth about motherhood uncensored. However, to make it fun, I’ will be getting naked with some other MILFs (Moms I’d like to Friend). Hopefully, you’re into that kind of thing and will join the conversaton at #NakedMoms on Twitter.
Check out some other #NakedMoms posts here:
Loving the Mom in Me by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
Loving While Waiting by Heather at Diary of A First Time Mom
Present in Love by Laila at Only Laila
I Loved You Before You Were Born by Joyce at Mommy Talk Show
My Mom Was Right About Motherhood by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny
Being a Loving Mom Begins With Loving Yourself by Steph at Confessions of A Stay At Home Mom
I Love Being a Working Mom by Vanesse at Mommy Works A Lot
Naked Love. Learning to Be Vulnerable by Summer at The Dirty Floor Diaries
Back To Love by Brandi at Mama Knows It All